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An Easy First Wine

In the Middle Ages, families that couldn't afford to purchase wine from a vintner made their own. Made from what ingredients they had on hand, it often was not all that good. In Mundane times, you can do the same, but have a wine you will be proud to serve at an event or to your friends. It's easy, requires no special equipment and everything you need is available at the local supermarket. Hard to believe? Read on.

At the supermarket purchase the following:
2-1 gallon apple cider or apple juice containers in glass jugs, the smaller the "opening" the better. Look, you will find them with a 1/2" opening or so.
1-40 oz jar of 100% pure grape juice. (Get the best, get Welches, this is no time to save a few cents.) And be sure that your grape juice contains no sugar or preservatives. The preservatives will kill the yeast.
1-package powdered baker's yeast. (You will probably have to buy a 3-pack but we will use just one of them.)
3 or 4-good quality balloons with the largest opening you can find. (This is another time not to scrimp on a few pennies. If you can't find a good one at the supermarket in the toy department, then stop by a place that fills helium balloons. They are usually quality. And yes, we are buying extras.)
4-cups of granulated sugar.
6-ft. good plastic hose, 3/8" diameter or so. (Ok, so you have to stop at the hardware store sometime within a month after you start your wine. The hose and the balloon are the only two items you may have to shop outside your supermarket for.)

To start your wine:
Step 1: Empty one of the jugs of juice (drink it, give it to the kids, whatever) and wash the jug in hot water thoroughly. A little bleach wouldn't hurt to sterilize the inside. Cleanliness is next to godliness and essential for good wine.
Step 2: Dissolve 4 cups of sugar in no more than 1 1/2 qt. of WARM (not hot) water and pour in jug.
Step 3. Empty contents of (room temperature) grape juice in gallon jug.
Step 4. Add 1/2 package of yeast to the top of jug. You do NOT want the jug more than 3/4 full at this point. Fermentation requires room to expand and bubble. You can't believe the mess of overfilling. Don't worry, when we are done, I promise a full gallon of good grape wine.
Step 5. GENTLY ease the balloon over the opening in the bottle so that it seals all the way around being careful not to tear it where it seals. Should it tear, use another balloon. If the second one tears, go buy better balloons. The seal is important! The balloon will allow the gasses created by fermentation to expand and contract yet keep wild yeasts from entering the jug and ruining your wine.
Step 6. Watch your wine work over the next 30 days. As fermentation is at it's height, the balloon will expand and as it subsides, the balloon will contract. Leave it set somewhere that the balloon has room to inflate to almost it's normal size.
Step 7. Over the next 30 days, drink the juice or cider in the second jug and just before going to step 8, clean it just as you did the first jug in step 1. Clean the plastic tube with very hot water.
Step 8. GENTLY remove the balloon, again being careful not to tear it at the lip. (We are going to reuse it.)
Step 9. Placing the empty jug lower than the jug with your wine in it, begin siphoning from the full to the empty with your plastic hose, being careful not to siphon from the bottom. You want to leave the sediment on the bottom. I usually leave 1/2 inch or so of wine in the bottom of the full jug. (It's ok to taste at this point, and you will be surprised how good this wine can be in only 30 days, but don't let temptation take you to drinking yet. It will get much better.)
Step 10. Ease the balloon back on the newly filled jug, check for tears in the balloon, and let it set for another 30 days.
Step 11. At the end of the second 30 days, the balloon should not be inflated at all. All fermentation should be stopped. I always rack (siphon) again to the other (cleaned) jug. This will give you a very clear beautiful wine.
Step 12. NOW you may add water to the jug to make it to a full gallon. Ease your balloon back on and let it set as long as you can. The longer the wine is in the "barrel" the better it is. But give it at least 30 more days.
Step 13. Using your siphon hose again, bottle your wine and serve it proudly. It is your creation.

Care to experiment? Use other juices. Be sure you read the label. It must say "100% juice", "No sugar added" and "No preservatives"
Be proud. You are a winemaker!

Submitted by Lord Reginald of the Fells

Simple Irish Cream Liqueur


Blend well the following ingredients:
2 eggs
1 tsp Nestles Quick (chocolate)
2 tsp Instant Coffee (level)
1 can Eagle Brand milk

put all in blender and mix then add:
1 cup Cool Whip
1 1/4 cups blended Whiskey
Bottle and keep in fridge

Submitted by Lord Reginald of the Fells and provided to him by a mundane friend


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